Holy Cow – Bovine Anarchy and the New Identity of India

Did you know that the Hindu Right Wing is on a rampage not just against the Muslims but also against many of their own gods including Indra and Agni? Prof. Ram Puniyani writes in The Hindu that

Many gods such as Indra and Agni are described as having special preferences for different types of flesh - Indra had weakness for bull's meat and Agni for bull's and cow's. It is recorded that the Maruts and the Asvins were also offered cows.

Milking the "holy" cow.

Going by the Books, cow was never meant to be holy. “India is home to 300 million cattle and is the world's largest exporter of beef”, states Dhrubaa Mukherjee in her article on cow in the Hindu scriptures. She further expresses that

The earliest Vedasdo not prohibit the slaughter of cattle. In fact, they ordain it as a part of sacrificial rites … Moreover, the Brahmans that performed the cow sacrifices also readily ate the consecrated beef. … The Brhadaranyaka Upanishad (700 BCE) advocates that parents should eat rice cooked with beef or veal if they want a learned son who is a knower of the Vedas. … it is safe to assume that at the close of the Vedic period, the cow was still being slaughtered and eaten by Hindus, even though it served as a powerful symbol.”   

Brahmanism has dominatingly thrived on the doctrine of oppression, treachery, and deceit to preserve its reign on the vassals. History is replete with instances of their flouting the rules and vacillating stances on different religious aspects to meet their emulsified ambitions and desires. The battle of the holy cow (or for the holy cow) is an example of the same dissension. This is illustrated by the fact that cow eventually did become holy and motherly “In response to low castes slipping away from the grip of Brahmanism.” – as Prof. Ram Puniyani asserts in his article Beef eating: strangulating history

Brahmanism breeds anarchy and indoctrinates greed for power and money. It is a caste-based anarchist regime that has always been struggling to maintain and withhold its supremacy. Cow was made a holy scapegoat to berate and outlaw lower caste people embracing Buddhism. These lower caste people were thereby relegated to untouchables in the Brahmanistic endeavor to legalize their oppression. [Sounds so similar to the legalized oppression and lynching of Muslims in the name of gau-rakshaa, right?] Dr. B. R. Ambedkar recollects how

the general atmosphere of scorn and contempt was spread by the Brahmins against those who were Buddhists. Untouchables were given a new definition – The reason why Broken Men only became Untouchables was because in addition to being Buddhists they retained their habit of beef-eating which gave additional ground for offence to the Brahmins to carry their new-found love and reverence to the cow to its logical conclusion.

Dr. Ambedkar further recollects that

The strife between Buddhism and Brahmanism is a crucial fact in Indian history. Without the realisation of this fact, it is impossible to explain some of the features of Hinduism … the struggle for supremacy in which these creeds were engaged and that their struggle, which extended for 400 years has left some indelible marks on religion, society and politics of India”. Further, the Brahmanist craving for greed, power, and money is beautifully highlighted – Brahmanism was on the wane and if not on the wane, it was certainly on the defensive. As a result of the spread of Buddhism, the Brahmins had lost all power and prestige at the Royal Court and among the people. They were smarting under the defeat they had suffered at the hands of Buddhism and were making all possible efforts to regain their power and prestige. Buddhism had made so deep an impression on the minds of the masses and had taken such a hold of them that it was absolutely impossible for the Brahmins to fight the Buddhists except by accepting their ways and means and practising the Buddhist creed in its extreme form.

So did happen with the advent and rise of Mughals and the establishment of Muslim regime in India. The only difference was that their endeavor to disfigure the Muslim regime was indistinctly overshadowed by the advent of British Raj. Thereafter, the Brahministic struggle for supremacy and their craving for greed, power, and money have continued unremittingly since India’s independence. Now that Buddhism has been evicted from the visage of India and laid to rest in peace, the doctrine of Brahmanical supremacy must continue to be unleashed on the religious group that threatens it the most – Muslims. After all, the Hindu Right Wing has all the right to reclaim its glory of exterminating minorities in the name of the holy cow. Here are some interesting facts of the holy bovine anarchy that’s going to shape the identity of India in the coming years. Read these and “brace for impact”!

Holy Cow Transportation

When the holy cow is being transported, it is almost always a prima facie assumption that it is being transported for slaughter and meat consumption; unless the transporter belongs to the majority community or to a corporate meat exporter. Therefore, when an underprivileged and abjectly poor dairy farmer is spotted transporting the holy cows, he and his accomplices must be lynched, ripped, and gashed to death. This is also in the pure interest of exhibiting the pinnacle of patriotism both for mother cow and mother India. In all such cases, a mere complaint from a protector of the holy cow (gaurakshak – who qualifies as the biggest desh-rakshak exclusively by virtue of protecting the holy cow) must be a sufficient enough evidence for the police to register a case against the cow transporter. If the transporter is found in possession of legal purchase receipts, these may be ardently ignored as they may become anti-national evidence against the gaurakshak.

Slaughter Houses and Meat Shops

Small and medium slaughterhouses and meat shops without proper license must be outlawed and banned and displaced from every nook and corner with immediate effect. Similar to how the Nazi Germany had outlawed kosher slaughter in 1933. They did not ban kosher slaughter by name; rather “prohibited killing of animals unless they were first stunned or anesthetized”; which was against kosher slaughter. Following the footsteps of Nazism, small and medium shops and slaughter houses, mostly belonging to the minority community, have not been banned per se, but have been outlawed since they were found wanting of legal licenses. It’s a different story if most of these small and medium slaughterhouses and meat shops belong to the Muslims – might be just a coincidence! In addition, it may not be necessary to provide proper procedures and directives to obtain or renew such licenses, though. Big corporate meat exporters already have them so such a move shall not impact the country’s economy.

Meat Consumption

When getting a tipoff about a gau-bhakshak (Muslim cow eater) consuming meat, it is the prime duty of the gau-rakshaks in the name of the holy cow and mother India to break into his house, lynch him to death, and threaten his family members with similar dire consequences – verification of facts may wait. Like always, the police must first register a case against the gau-bhakshak and send the meat he was eating for forensic test to check if the meat was beef or mutton; registering the case for murder of the gau-bhakshak may wait. If the gau-bhakshak turns out to be mamsa-bhaksh (mutton eater), he can always be depicted as a distorted gau-bhakshak to maintain the glory of gau-rakshaks. This must be done in the larger interest of both the holy cow and mother India, and also to satisfy the collective conscience of the nation.

Gau-Rakshaks will finally be able to give India a new identity; an identity that democratic India has never witnessed before. What matters is the newness of this identity, even if it stinks of mobocracy, oppression, fascism, and anarchy – bovine anarchy. Hail Gau-Rakshaks – for they are all set to implant the next election slogan: Gaye bachao, desh bachao (Save the holy cow, save the nation)! 

[Let’s all hope, pray, and work together to ensure this doesn’t become a reality; and India retains its glorious identity of being the largest secular democracy of the world.]

Sharjeel Ahmad is MBA and an Economics graduate. He is an instructional designer by profession and is presently based in Saudi Arabia. He has keen interest in social, economic, and political issues facing Indian populace, with special emphasis on minority issues.

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