Islamic Perspectives

Kindness towards women and children

“Live together with them correctly and courteously,” (Quran 4:19) “You will not be able to be completely fair between your wives, however hard you try. But do not be completely partial so as to leave a wife, as it were, suspended in mid-air. And if you make amends and have taqwa, Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Quran 4:129)

  • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu reported that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘Treat women well. Women were created from a rib. The most crooked part of the rib is the top part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you leave it, it remains crooked. So treat women well.’ (Bukhari & Muslim) In another variant of Bukhari & Muslim, ‘A woman is like a rib. If you straighten it, you break it. If you wish to benefit from her, you can benefit from her in spite of her crookedness.’ In a variant in Muslim, ‘Women were created from a rib, and you will never find any means to straighten her. If you wish to benefit from her, you can benefit from her in spite of her crookedness. If you try to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her means divorcing her.’
  • ‘Abdullah ibn Zam’a radhiyallahu anhu reported that he heard Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam giving a speech in which he mentioned women and gave an admonishment regarding them saying, ‘Some of you go and flog their wives as a slave is flogged and then sleep with them at the end of the day.’ Then he admonished them about their laughing at people breaking wind and said, ‘Why does any of you laugh at something which he himself does?’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
  • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu reported that he heard Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam say, ‘A believing man should not dislike a believing woman. If he dislikes something in her character, he should be pleased with some other or another trait of hers.’ (Muslim)
  • ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami radhiyallahu anhu reported that he heard Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam say during the Farewell Hajj after praising and glorifying Allah, reminding and admonishing, ‘Treat your women well. They are as captives in your possession. You have no rights over them except that (i.e. physical enjoyment and that they protect their husband’s interest in respect of themselves and his property). If they act recklessly in an open way, then leave them alone in their beds and hit them but not severely. If they obey you, you have no way against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your right over them is that they do not allow into your bed those you dislike and do not permit those you dislike entering your house. Their right over you is that you are good to them in respect of their clothes and food.’ (Tirmidhi)
  • Mu’awiya ibn Hayda radhiyallahu anhu said: I asked, ‘Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam what is the right of someone’s wife over him?’ He said, ‘That you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and do not strike her face. Do not malign her and do not keep apart from her, except in the house.’ (Abu Dawud)
  • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu stated: Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘The most perfect of believers in belief is one who is best of them in character. The best of you are those who are the best to their women.’ (Tirmidhi)
  • Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu said, ‘Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam kissed Hasan ibn ‘Ali while Aqra’ ibn Habis radhiyallahu anhu was with him. Aqra’ radhiyallahu anhu said, ‘I have ten children and have never kissed any of them.’ Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam looked at him and said, ‘Anyone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
  • Aisha radhiyallahu anha said, ‘Some of the Bedouins came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam and said, ‘Do you really kiss your children?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ They said, ‘But, by Allah, we do not!’ Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘There is nothing I can do if Allah has removed mercy from your hearts!’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
  • Anas radhiyallahu anhu said is that he passed by some children and greeted them saying, ‘Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam used to do that.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
  • Jabir radhiyallahu anhu reported that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘Do not curse each other and do not curse your children and do not curse your property lest it should coincide with a time from Allah in which wishes that are asked for are granted.’ (Muslim)
  • Nu’man ibn Bashir radhiyallahu anhu reported that his father brought him to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam and said, ‘I gave this son of mine a slave I had.’ Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam asked, ‘Did you give every son of yours the same thing?’ He said, ‘No.’ Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘Then take him back.’ In one variant, ‘Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘Did you do this for all of your sons?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Fear Allah and be just to your children.’ My father returned and took that sadaqah back.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)


(Compiled by Mohammad Ishaq - ishaq##upintan.com)

This article appeared in The Milli Gazette print issue of 16-31 December 2010 on page no. 28

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