Islamic Perspectives

Shaytan is the third between a Man and Woman meeting in secret

By Arfa Saira Iqbal

Islam forbids free-mixing of men and women in case it leads to fitnah and illicit relationships. In the West, it’s extremely common to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, whereas Islam prohibits this. Instead, it is encouraged to marry early to prevent problems.

The Prophet (pbuh) says: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytan is the third one present.’” [Narrated by Ahmad, Tirmidhi and Hakim)

Before marriage, Shaytan does his BEST to cause two people to commit sin and have a haram relationship...

But after marriage, the same two people that Shaytan tried so hard to tempt into doing bad things are now under attack from him so they are forced to split apart! Why? Because once a marriage takes place, the husband and wife are now halal (legitimate) for each other.

And because they are halal for each other, it means that Shaytan has failed in his objective to make people sin. And on top of this, Allah SWT in His infinite mercy will reward a husband and wife coming together!

This infuriates the Shaytan even further, so he now focuses his energy to destroy the home environment so that eventually the husband and wife will split apart and any children will be affected.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Iblis [Shaitan] places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension between people); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: ‘I did so and so.’ And he says: ‘You have done nothing.’ Then one amongst them comes and says: ‘I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.’ Shaytan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well.’ He then embraces him.’” (Muslim)

So what can you do to protect your home and prevent Shaytan from entering it? Here are some tips:

1. Shaytan is made from fire, so one of the best ways to protect yourself from being affected by him is to make wudu [ablution], since the water will put the fire out! In real terms, if you and your spouse are arguing, go and make wudu and insha Allah your anger will disappear.

The prophet (pbuh) said: “When one of you gets angry, let him make ablution with water as anger arises out of fire.” In another narration, the Prophet said: “Anger comes from the devil and the devil is made of fire.”

2. Recite Surah Baqarah over three nights in your home, since Shaytan will run away from a home in which this Surah is recited. If you are busy, you can play a recitation of Surah Baqarah instead - just be sure to complete the surah by the third day.

3. Get into the habit of keeping your tongue busy with the remembrance of Allah SWT and make dhikr often.  Shaytan will not whisper to you if you do this.

4. When you feel an argument coming on, recite “A’udhu billahi min al-shaytaani-r-ragim” and Shaytan will run away from you.

5. If you fear your spouse’s anger gets too much for you, recite Aytul Kursi as much as you can.

6. The Prophet (pbuh) gave the following advice for calming down arguments: He (pbuh) said: “Anger is a burning coal. Don’t you see your eyebrows wide and eyes reddish? So when one of you feels angry, let him sit down if standing, and lie down if sitting.”

There are many ways in which you can calm a situation down and this is especially important for women to know who have husbands with a short temper.

And finally, learn to control your tongue. Nothing is more destructive than a foul mouth and argumentative nature. Let me leave you with a final hadith about anger:

“Once, a person was verbally abusing Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) while the Prophet (peace be upon him) was curiously watching with a smile. After taking much abuse quietly, Abu Bakr responded to a few of his comments. At this, the Prophet exhibited his disapproval, got up and left. Abu Bakr caught up with the Prophet and wondered, “O Messenger of Allah, he was abusing me and you remained quiet. When I responded to him, you disapproved and left!” The Messenger of Allah responded,

“There was an angel with you responding to him. When you responded to him, Shaytan took his place.” He then said:

“O Abu Bakr, there are three solid truths: If a person is wronged and he forbears it (without seeking revenge) just for the sake of Allah Almighty, Allah will honour him and give him the upper hand with His help; if a person opens a door of giving gifts for cementing relationships with relatives, Allah will give him abundance; and, if a person opens a door seeking charity for himself to increase his wealth, Allah will further reduce his wealth.” (Musnad Ahmad).(

Arfa Saira Iqbal is an author, strategist and Project Manager of Pure Matrimony. Arfa is an avid writer about all aspects of marriage and family life and lives